Sunday, January 10, 2010

Grieving

Instead of getting better, its getting worse. Today was the worse so far. Going home without my father there is torture. The whole house is him, everywhere I look. Now I know what home is where the heart is means. He was home to me. I can barely function. Life was hard enough before this, everything is falling apart. we're about to lose our apartment, then what. All alone and no place to turn. I can't believe hes gone, dissapeared. Sitting where he use to sit last night, just gone. Church and the cemetary today, more torture. I know I'm being selfish and I would like to be able to mourn with them but I stayed in the car. I cant go there. I don't even think I can go home anymore. I have to stay in the city and pretend.

6 comments:

tricityty said...

I am so sorry, I hope it gets better for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Amber

Jane said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It can be so overwhelming. I do wish I had words that would heal your pain but I know that I don't. Time will ease the pain a little but you will always miss your daddy. Till you meet again.

Cecillia B Photography said...

This post really saddens me. I am so sorry you are going threw this loss. But I believe with all my heart that loved ones who pass on are not gone. They are as near or far as we want or allow them to be. As strong as your relationship with your Dad sounds like it is there is NO WAY he would leave you alone. I hope you can find comfort and joy in your memories of a wonderful man and find your own way to keep him close always.

GingerLouise Clothing said...

sorry cecelia--i guuess i should find somewhere else to post this stuff--i just feel like i'm losing my mind when the reality sets in that i will never seehim or talk to him again--sorry to make you sad

Cecillia B Photography said...

This is your blog and you can post whatever you want. I just hate to see you suffer like this! *hug*

Nishant said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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