Fingerprint Friday

There is a song by Steven Curtis Chapman that says:
I can see the fingerprints of god
When I look at you
I can see the fingerprints of god
And I know its true
You're a masterpiece
That all creation quietly applauds
And you're covered with the fingerprints of god

So as I have been blogging about we lost my dad 3 days before Christmas, its been a month already and accepting this is very difficult. This was the sky the day I was going to Long Island for the wake. I was on the train looking out the window. I haven't seen a sky like this in about 30 years. when I spoke to my best friend that night she said the same thing, "did you see the sky around 4:00, it looked like the seat of Heaven" I miss you dad, a lot.






If you want to join in with your interpretation of how God shows himself in your life, go here

Letters to Heaven

These are the things you gave me, Dad,

And these are the things I’ll prize…

To find God in a field of corn

And hope in each sunrise,

To learn the greatest truths of all

Seeing nature through your eyes.



These are the things you gave me, Dad,

And these are the things I’ll keep:

A sense of soulfulness within

And a faith that’s broad and deep,

The pride that comes from a hard day’s work

And the peace of a good night’s sleep.



These are the things you taught me, Dad,

And these are things I’ll treasure:

That money isn’t riches

And that wisdom has no measure,

That everybody has to die

But love goes on forever.



If there’s praise to give

On ways to live,

Then, Dad, you’ve shown me this…

Endurance with grace

To the end of your race,

And this is a man I’ll miss.

Reprinted from Life Between Falls: A Travelogue Through Grief & the Unexpected by Julie Lange

Inspiration...

Oklahoma! Act 1
Scene One: The back porch and yard of Laurie's farmhouse

"It is a radiant summer morning several years ago,the kind of morning, which enveloping the shapes of earthmen, cattle in a meadow, blades of young corn,streams--makes them seem to exist now for the first time, their images giving off a golden emanation that ispartly true and partly a trick of the imagination, focus-ing to keep alive a loveliness that may pass away forever.

One of my favorite written passages.

Grieving

Instead of getting better, its getting worse. Today was the worse so far. Going home without my father there is torture. The whole house is him, everywhere I look. Now I know what home is where the heart is means. He was home to me. I can barely function. Life was hard enough before this, everything is falling apart. we're about to lose our apartment, then what. All alone and no place to turn. I can't believe hes gone, dissapeared. Sitting where he use to sit last night, just gone. Church and the cemetary today, more torture. I know I'm being selfish and I would like to be able to mourn with them but I stayed in the car. I cant go there. I don't even think I can go home anymore. I have to stay in the city and pretend.

Have a Vintage Valentines Day!

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Letters to Heaven

Dear Dad, I like writing to you at night, it makes me feel like your still here. I'm sure some of my customers will find this a very strange blog and if you were here you would probably yell at me for doing this:) So I miss you and Lisa is a mess, Jennie isn't talking about it and neither am I, for nwo. She dreamed about you and said you looked good and tan and there were no bruises on your arm. You looked healthy and she told you she loved you. xo

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Letters To Heaven

Dear Dad, Its a very cold night here tonight and I was thinking about the day when we were little and you took us sleigh riding. You told me to jump on first, then Lisa would jump on followed by Carol. What a surprise when you jumped on all 3 of us! How did you do it, How did you drive to work 6 hours a day from Long Island to NJ and still be ok to play with us at night. We couldn't wait to see that white vw pull around the corner at 6:20. I have dreaded this day for as far back as I can remember. When I told you the last time I saw you that you were a hard act to follow, you didn't understand. I had to explain that I could never be as good of a parent as you were, never. I am trying and I am trying harder now. After giving your eulogy it made me realize what an inspiration you were to me as a person. Yes we had our differences but you were one of the best men God ever put on earth. I love you and I am so sad that things will never be the same. xo

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