A NEW YORK CITY DIVORCE

I decided to start posting about this horrible divorce, its not even that the divorce is so horrible, I'm over that, it's the judges, the sheriffs and the lawyers.
Why am I posting about this. Well, someday, if it is God's will, I would like to be able to support other women that find themselves in this situation and help them to realize that they are not the crzy ones, THAT IT IS THE SYSTEM.
I love our country. I love what it stands for, I love the principles its based on.
With that said, our court systems are a joke I can't begin to tell you. They protect the guilty. I know that most of the women I connect with here in cyberspace are happily married. Maybe because they don't live in NY. I don't know but I haave been trying to get a divorce for 3 years. I had to sit in the court room 30 times in the last three years, 6 different times, knowing my husband wouldn't show up before they would issue a contempt of court warrent. Yeah, I think were getting somewhere. I spend the last 2 years talking to half the sheriffs in Westchester county. You see, noone wants to arrest him, so what if he doesn't pay child support, so what if he blew off court at least 6 times. So what if he's a violent deadbeat dad, SO WHAT Two weeks ago, the last officer I spoke to in yet another town and I quote "Why did you put my name on the fax, now I'm responsible for this"
Noone will arrest him, an order of contempt means nothing. The judge told me, if I was in an abusive relationship, why didn't I get help. "We have places to take care of that" BS I went to the police 5 years ago, did he hit you, no, he just kicked in the front door, do you have proof he destroyed everything you own, sorry we can't help you. And on and on the story goes. I don't want to be a victim here but I feel so powerless, the judges are so nasty and the police are useless. And even if he was arrested, I would have to prove he's lying and prove he owns buildings and has money.
And my lawyer, he has lyed and lyed to me. Again because I let him because I don't trust myself. Finally tonight, I fired him. We are suppose to go to court tomorrow and he said his back was out and he couldn't fill out the papers, again. Oh, but he did speak to my estranged and they made a date to meet 3 weeks from now in court, sure. Lovely.
I find it really hard to stand up for myself, I believed this lawyer just like I believed my husband.
I am so angry tonight. I have to go to court tomorrow and stand in front of that judge and have a voice and feel powerful. This has to be happening for a reason.
I guess I'm this angry because I'm scared. I trusted this lawyer and he screwed me. Just like R did. I've made amends for my part in the relationship and I know I should be praying for my lawyer tonighht not venting about him...